It took perhaps, oh 20 or so seconds, to realize one of two things had taken place: Firstly we had arrived at a different Kuala Lumpur from the one which the clown at the café had described or secondly, that he had never actually been to the place he so maligned. The latter of these two possibilities is what I suspect as he also claimed that Johannesburg was the world's most beautiful city -- a  claim I doubt even any citizen of South Africa's largest city would make. Looking around we saw the KL Tower and the famous twin Petronas Towers that are the city's signature landmark. We were definitely in KL... Must be that the bloke in the café was just deluded. Many people, not all of whom were hawking goods, offered us help. Even when these folk were trying to flog us a hotel room that we didn't want they'd still graciously point us in the direction of our chosen accommodation.

The only bleak spot was the rain. It was clattering down, and we didn't exactly (or to be honest I didn't remotely) know where we were going. Still a walk in a dark, wet city you've never visited, whilst hauling a large rucksack around and in possession of no map. What could possibly go wrong? Remarkably, nothing! I know, I'm still amazed myself. I can only imagine that the invisible forces that can guide even the drunkest man home at night have a partner power which can guide the naïve to a hidden hostel in the depths of strange towns. Spooky!

The next day dawned, most likely at some point around 6; though we cannot vouch for this as we were tucked up in a windowless box that was our bedroom. As a consequence of no light in the room we slept late. Really, really late. I won't give you the time we actually managed to get up as henceforth you'll only call us a pair of right lazy bastards!  Anyway it was quite refreshing having such a sleep, especially given that the AC in the room was on overdrive and we were apparently in a walk in deep freeze. Frankly this beats hideous humidity (such as that which was awaiting us outside) every time. The down side of this sleepathon is that it scuppered our plans to get out and do an early walking tour to beat the heat of the day. Instead we changed our plans, from a good one to a very, very bad one. We'd go walking in the afternoon swelter instead. How very smart that was? 

Anyway, we walked extensively around the city that is actually quite compact when compared with, say, Jakarta, and it's a decidedly pleasant place. It was everything my neighbour at the café had said it was not and nothing he said it was.  The city is quite impressive and if you like shopping then this just might be your personal heaven. There are shopping malls everywhere! This however, was not what we had wanted to see. We were heading to the Petronas Towers (6 floor shopping mall inside, obviously) which we both thought were the tallest building / buildings in the world. The thing is they just didn't look very large. I'm not sure if it's because they're not surrounded by other enormous buildings such as New York's skyscrapers where you're always craning your neck to view upwards so you can compare the heights.  The Petronas towers can be enjoyed in an almost unobstructed fashion from anywhere. Or, if it was because of the amazing rectangular and semi circular intersections that make up the building (apparently it's designed using "classic Islamic" lines, so there you go...) which combine to work like destructive patterning to the eyes and seem to distort the size and shape of the building, thus making it appear small. I don't know.

Well it turned out that the real reason it didn't look like the worlds tallest building is because it isn't. It stands 452 m (1482 ft) high, which is pretty high, but it has apparently lost it's record to a building in Taipei. Though oddly both of these buildings are shorter than the CN Tower in Toronto, which for some reason doesn't count. I haven't the faintest idea why but apparently there is a whole organisation that judges what is, and what is not, the highest building in the world. That really can't be a taxing job can it? Imagine the scene, "I call this meeting to order... Is this new building higher than the current highest building? Ayes to the right, nays to the left!" Come on how tricky can it be? That's the job for me! Sadly, we couldn't get up to the viewing skywalk (half way up the building on the 42nd floor) as all the tickets for the day had gone. Such is life and the cost of sleeping in.

So we pressed on with our route march to see the other major touristy spots around town. We went to Merdeka Square. This is the colonial heart of KL set around what I suspect was once a village green type cricket oval. It is flanked on one side by mock Tudor buildings, whimsical, but beautiful, Moorish inspired buildings on the other and topped by the interesting National Museum. The museum is an almost comical look at the birth of Malaysia and it's exhibitions and "Information" can be summed up as: Everything by outsiders = BAD. Anything by a Malaysian = GOOD, BRAVE & HONOURABLE" To me it reeked of young country's insecurity but it was well worth a visit.

Sadly, I then talked Heide into going to see the train station. Well, it read well in the guide book! She thought this was a silly idea, it was after all, blazing hot, we had trekked the best part of eight marathons already and it is a train station. Still we went. I know it sounds really dorky and I'm slightly ashamed of myself but it really did sound good in the official literature! Anyway, when we finally got there (eleven marathons now completed) we discovered there was more life in your average cemetery (there was no train due for about nine hours) and despite the odd Islamic inspired architecture (the Brits back at the turn of the last century must have been really into the Moorish thing) there was nothing to really hold our attention. So, we pottered around (at least it was cool there) feeling like a pair of total geeks muttering platitudes such as: "Hmm, nice minaret!"  "Ooh, what a lovely arch!" and "My, isn't the controllers office a fine example of enlightened colonialism, offering as it does, a sympathetic representation of the major religion of the local people while at the same time reflecting the extent of the Empire?" Sad, sad, sad, sad, sad!

I blame the heat (Heide, fairly, blames me) Clearly we need to be refreshed by a cooling, restorative beer. So we charged through Chinatown to find a bar which doubled as an oasis, Moorish or not, where we could sooth our addled minds. While we were enjoying these much-anticipated refreshers we came upon some startling news. Not only are Durians (as referenced in the Singapore entry May 25, 2004) the stinkiest fruit known to mankind they are also potentially deadly. Especially when mixed with booze! This calamitous news came from a source so authoritative in such matters, the Thai Department of Health and Stinky Fruits, that right then and there I vowed never to so much as touch a deadly Durian. Heide however, still slightly miffed that I'd made her walk 186km that day, just to see a poxy train station was signalling to the barman that I should have a Durian laced fruit cocktail and another beer. She didn't mean it of course;... well our insurance doesn't cover us for self-inflicted demise through the consumption of pongy food stuffs.

All in all, we both agree that KL, despite it's penchant for foully aromatic tree bourn products is a fine and eminently comfortable city to visit. So there, Mr. Know It All Singapore Cafe!